oh the anticipation....

Well, the holidays are quickly approaching, and now the emotional waves are back, almost fierce now. All of our plans for the holidays are now VASTLY different!! We were going to host Thanksgiving, because I would have been 35 weeks pregnant. Now we are not expecting, and we have decided not to stay home. I really wanna see the lighting of the Plaza down in Kansas City, something BEAUTIFUL to help with the way I am feeling. I think that the worst part of this is just anticipating what each day will bring. I hope and pray I don't become an emotional basket-case and ruin what should be a fun time with everyone. I really almost feel like staying home, but I also want to be around people. I just REALLY DO NOT want people treating Michael and I like we are fragile, that sometimes makes it worse. Sometimes I feel like people are just waiting to see me cry. Now I know that's not true, it's just how I feel sometimes. I am really hoping and praying that when people see us, especially during the holidays, they don't try to ask us how we're doing and coping, I would rather people just wish us a Happy Thanksgiving, Great to see you!, Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year!!! This will help out TREMENDOUSLY!! I understand people are curious, and they care, and want us to know they care, but during this time, being around people we haven't seen in a while, I don't want to have to hold back tears because I am trying to talk about how I am coping. It's already going to be hard.
I do enjoy getting little notes of encouragement. I understand it's tough for people to know how to engage, but just a hug or a pat on the back, speaks VOLUMES!!! We don't need heavy words, or people trying to console us, especially when they have no idea what's going on in our heads. Just letting us know you're thinking about us, and praying is great!
Today has just really been one of those days. Tons of emotions, had to stay home from work! Granted it was a SUPER short work day, we're talking maybe 2 hours :)
Thank you to those who have and continue to lift us up in your prayers, please DO NOT stop!! We need them! At least I know I REALLY do!